You Cannot Pour From An Empty Cup
- Leon Haynes
- Oct 7, 2024
- 3 min read
Updated: Oct 8, 2024
When you put the needs of others first (in some respect), you neglect your own needs.
In a world that often prioritises the needs of others, it is also important to remember to take time to put your own self-development first.
Here are a couple of example scenarios that will help you to understand why you cannot pour from an empty cup:
Scenario #1: Stranded In A Desert
Imagine this scene, you’re in the desert with 4 friends, you’re all thirsty, but you’re the only one who has a flask of water.
You’ve calculated that if you drink the full flask, it will keep you hydrated long enough to make a 5-mile trek across the desert to the nearest well which has an abundance of fresh water, whereas drinking half, will only get you halfway.
At the well there is plenty of clean water, and 4 empty flasks. You are now faced with a choice – first, you could share your flask of water evenly between you and your 4 friends, which of course would be very kind, and more than likely an option that the majority of us would take.
However, whilst you’ll all be partially hydrated for a short time, as it will take a full flask to make the journey to the well, none of you will be able to go and eventually everyone will perish from thirst.
The other option would be to drink the full flask of water and leave your 4 friends to be thirsty for a little longer, whilst you make the trip to the well. Then when you return, not only will you have been able to fully hydrate, but you’ll also be able to help your friends do the same so all of you can get back to safety.
Scenario #2: Airplane Drama
Another real-life example we’re probably all familiar with, whereby helping yourself first, in order to be able to help others, is when you’re on a plane getting ready for take-off.
Think about when the cabin crew gives the safety briefing to all passengers, amongst all of the other important information they provide is one particularly key piece of advice they will give to passengers:
“in the event of any issues or an emergency during the flight, when the oxygen masks descend from above your seat, you should ensure you place a mask on yourself before attempting to assist others.”
As difficult as this may be in practice, it stands true – if you become unconscious from inhaling toxic fumes and pass out, not only will you not be able to assist anyone else, you will also become an additional liability for others to tend to.
Summary
Think about your own life, how much do you give to others of your time? Labour? Expertise? Resources?
How much time do you give to yourself? How much energy to you keep for yourself? To be the best for others, to take care of others, it is essential that sometimes you take care of yourself first.
There is a flipside to this quote which I think is also important to remember, and that is, whilst you cannot pour from an empty cup, you also cannot fill a cup without emptying it first.
Essentially, once you have filled your cup (i.e.: helped yourself), you also need to go forth and empty your cup (i.e.: pay it forward or help others) and give where you can – whether that is time, money or expertise, thus allowing you to refill your empty cup and maintain balance!
Key Takeaways
Putting yourself first doesn’t mean you don’t care about others. It means you’re smart enough to know you can’t help others if you don’t help yourself first.
Take time out to rest and recharge your mind and your body, do things you love, or simply do nothing, whatever brings you happiness.
You can’t be all things for all people, all of the time, neither can you be everything, everywhere. Choose a time, choose a place, then be present in that moment.
Remember not to pull up the ladder behind you and instead reach out and help others once you have found a way to pull yourself up.
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